Failure Teaches You Better Than Success

I am a failure…I remember having this thought when I received my grade 12 certificate… the score I received didn’t leave me with many exciting university prospects. 

As far as I could see, in that moment, I was granted  a life of mediocrity.  I figured that because my score was low, I wouldn’t be able to study anything meaningful, I wouldn’t get a respectable job and I’d never gain respect, love or the life I always desired. 

I wasn’t the brightest in the classroom but it was my relationship with failure that exacerbated my negative feedback loop. 

I knew I was a gifted athlete but my options to find a career in sport were limited. I knew that my natural talent would only get me so far and that I needed to level up. I knew that I was intelligent and I had it in me to succeed at SOMETHING but I was terrified of failure.

Unfortunately, I let my fear of failure hold me back from excelling for a long time. If I sucked it meant that Lachlan Stuart wasn’t good enough and I couldn’t face that. 

Without being aware of it at the time. I was robbing myself of the opportunity to truly learn.

In 2014, I was introduced to the idea that failure was a stepping stone to success. By fully committing to the goals you set, failure will show you EXACTLY what you need to work on to move closer to success.

The challenge many men face is that we associate our identity with failure.

Eg. I failed - therefore - I am a failure.

In this newsletter I want to address 3 key points that will prove to you that failure teaches more than success

1. Why we fear failure

2. You are not your results but your response to them

3. Fail fast & Fail often  

1. Why we fear failure…

I have begun to realise that the most successful people in the world have an incredibly positive relationship with failure.

Why do they have a positive relationship with failure when most people don’t?

Let’s define failure. It’s hard to understand, accept & change things if we don’t first define them first.

Failure = lack of success . 

It doesn’t mean LACK OF PROGRESS.

Don’t be deterred by not achieving outcomes. 

Don’t overlook your journey. 

Outcomes are important, the help us create a plan and define WHAT we need to do to achieve this.

Many of us fall apart here because of the fear of failure.

“What if I mess it up, what if I get it wrong, What if I am not good enough”

The truth is if you are striving for something you have never had…

• You will mess it up

• You will get it wrong

• You won’t be good enough

Will that stop you or will shift your relationship with failure?

It doesn’t need to be complicated.

You can allow your mind to keep you safe and avoid failure

OR

You can jump in the drivers seat and accept it as part of the process. 

If you want to improve your relationship with fear. Use these questions… I use them in my own life.

1. Where in your life are you afraid of failing

2. What does failure look like?

3. Is it absolute or can you learn from it?

How could this potential failure help you grow?

2. You are not your results but your response to them

This may sound like common sense but you’ll be surprised how uncommon it is.

The fulfilment of our life revolves around how we respond to life. Two men could experience the same event and give very different meanings.

The key is to be aware of this and respond in a way that allows you to grow and progress.

Viktor Frankl wrote in Man’s search for meaning

Don’t over complicate life.

It’s not hard to be successful when you realise you are in control.

There are skills to learn that help you develop.

I take you through some key ones in the “7Day Strong Men of Value Challenge”. These skills are foundational to your success.

When you understand that you can learn skills to improve your life, your response to adversity improves. You feel like you have a superpower

You aren’t the same man you were last year (if you are, we need to have a talk)

You should always be growing. You should learn to respond well to stress & adversity because in that lies the lessons to your higher self.

Here area few questions to help:

1. What was my most recent obstacle I faced?

2. How did I respond to it?

3. How would my best self have responded to it?

4. What can I take from this for the future?

3. Fail Fast & Fail often

Why would I want to fail fast & fail often…

Won’t that destroy my confidence?

The truth is if failure defines you, yes.. you will perish.

But I am hoping by the time you finish reading this you recognise it doesn’t define you. It propels you. 

Confidence is built through repetition, becoming more comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Michael Jordan is a famous example of this… he was quoted saying

Imagine if he quit after his first miss… he wouldn’t be who he is today.

You’re NO DIFFERENT.

Failure is a stepping stone to success.

It will teach you everything you need if you take the lessons. Don’t quit to early and don’t BS yourself.

I have seen far too many people who won’t accept their reality. Even as they continue to fail, they look to blame. It is never their fault.

You must ACCEPT responsibility to for this to work.

Here is what I do after I have set a goal:

1. List actions in order of priority

2. Take action

3. Review actions

4. Revise if needed 

5. Continue until

If you have a positive relationship with failure it won’t define you.

Think about children for a moment. They don’t even comprehend failure… they only want to learn.

They aren’t worried about how they look, asking stupid questions… they are just curious and will do what is needed to find answers and make sense of things.

To wrap this up I hope you now understand why failure is what we need to create the bets life possible. It doesn’t define you. in fact we love watching people who rise from the ashes to change their life.

So why would you not allow yourself to build a great story that can inspire others.

Stop chasing perfect. Your life will be full of highs and lows. Embracing failure will support you to the bets version of you.

What ever you decide you want that to look like.

I am excited for you

Make sure you share this with a mate that needs it.

Thank you for supporting my journey as I start sharing more of the things I am learning about as I live an inspired life.

Cheers

Lachie